he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just invented taco cereal.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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