He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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