Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
