The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
