Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
