She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
