You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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