is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
where are my eyebrows?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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