don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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