I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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