seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
