i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
