White coat. Heels.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
