halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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