smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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