One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
