I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
