so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
