I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
