You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Randomize
