it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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