you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
