We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
