got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize