i think i have herpe
just one?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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