During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
