Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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