I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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