It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
