You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
