I look better un-naked...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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