just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
