I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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