You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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