somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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