There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
