Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It's blow job season.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
