Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
