i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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