is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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