Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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