what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
