i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
