halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
