just tell him i said nine months
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
