4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Can Purell be used as lube?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
