If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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