dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
