i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
