would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Randomize
