so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
